Monday, October 14, 2013

Quite Like You

I am a people person.  I love people and I love being surrounded by people.  However, I am also a firm  believer in alone time.  In fact I used to thrive on alone time.  I used to demand alone time.  Key word being "used."  

Last year I nannied one of my favorite families for a week while their parents were out of town.  It is one of my very favorite jobs not only because I adore ADORE their family but also because once the kids are at school I get the whole house completely to myself.  Perfect for my coveted alone time.  My time to write.  Think.  Meditate.  Sing at the top of my lungs or dance around the kitchen island.  Just my time.  

This September I once again began a week of my favorite job, however, my first morning I was met with a completely unexpected surprise.  As I sat eating my breakfast in complete silence and solitude I realized I was somehow totally miserable.  An honest outrage because generally an uninterrupted breakfast by myself is one of my very favorite things.  For a few minutes I couldn't put my finger on it.  Why in the world I was so miserable.  And then it hit me...  I was lonely.  A somewhat foreign feeling for the firm-believer-thriver-and-demander-of-at-least-one-hour-of-alone-time-everyday.  But I was lonely and antsy and I could blame it on no one other than Andrew.  

Quite honestly he has turned me into a total fruit.  He's turned me into that sappy girl I used to hate.  The girl I said I would never be.

I used to loathe PDA (public display of affection).  Even holding hands made me feel extremely uncomfortable.  I would carry five different things in both hands just to avoid it.  Now... I seem to be holding Andrew's hand just about everywhere we go.

The worst part is I miss him whenever I am not with him.  In fact, I can't stand being alone these days.  I have to be with him.  From the very second I say goodnight I start missing him.  And when I wake up I am grumpier than ever because once again...
I am  m i s s i n g him
I am missing him all dang day long.  At class.  At work.  While I run errands.  Missing, missing, missing him.  As I said... I have become a TOTAL fruit.

This weekend Andrew went camping and to my horror I realized I was babysitting and wouldn't be able to attend.  Meaning... a WHOLE night without him.  Which is kinda a big deal because I haven't gone a night without him since we started dating.  (Besides two weeks of vacations this summer.)  To say the least I was really really dreading Friday night... Okay I am being a tad dramatic, it honestly wasn't that bad.  I had a grand time with my Cal girl.  But once again, all things aside, I ended the night... missing him.  But this time twice as much as normal because I went a WHOLE ENTIRE day without him.  

This weekend inspired a poem.  The first poem of a new series of shorter poems.  A series I like to call "Between the Rhymes."  A new series from a new Beth.  A hold-his-hand-everywhere-we-go-alone-time-hater-always-want-to-be-with-him-completely-in-love Beth.

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